Kim Jong Un totally tricked ALL OF YOU. Damn, he’s good.
Kim Jong Un was sent a copy of Chilantro’s menu, and interpreted “Korean fusion” as a specific nuclear threat.
Kim Jong Un got made fun of for mispronouncing Manchaca (Man-shack), Burnet (Burn-it), and Guadalupe (Guad-a-loop).
Kim Jong Un was actually doing the East Side a favor; he plans to threaten Brooklyn and Portland next month, and this way our hipsters can say they were avoiding nukes “before it was cool.”
via @zach_cheatham on Twitter: Kim Jong Un was utterly embarassed by his failure to finish the Don Juan challenge at Juan in a Million.
Kim Jong Un went to Birds Barbershop for his signature haircut, but they were out of beer.
Kim Jong Un had no intention of targetting Austin, but regrettably chose to use Apple Maps to select his targets.
Kim Jong Un cannot effing believe that we allowed the Bobby Bones show to become nationally syndicated. (He finds Dale Dudley equally suspect.)
From the Austin American Statesman: Kim Jong Un went to the Salt Lick, but forgot to bring cash.
Kim Jong Un has been going to Torchy’s for like, forever, and he JUST NOW found out about the secret menu.